May 2010
1 post
December 2009
1 post
“I used to comfort myself and say, ‘Don’t let society make you feel like...”
– Seriously, I started a self-help blog. Fuck.
…Just in case you’re ever bored enough to help me eventually interview with my dream boy Matt Lauer when I’m 40 pounds lighter.
Fuck, I'm broke.
I am so ready for a sugar daddy. If you are interested, please e-mail me. Thank you.
November 2009
7 posts
Woman claims order banning her from noisy sex is... →
Damn right it is.
“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got, and 50% what people think you’ve...”
– Sophia Loren
October 2009
1 post
“don’t you know i love you
and i always have
hallelujah
will you come to...”
– damien rice - cold water
September 2009
22 posts
Money gets me:
Rent
Pretty things, such as boots, necklaces, and makeup
Alcohol money
To give this up for my pride, or not. This is quit the dilemma.
To the Adonis from Astoria Boulevard on the N/W... →
From the group blog with my friend Dacia.
Why September is the best month this year
I’ve seen at least one movie per week, which means less sitting in my bathrobe watching Six Feet Under while drinking champagne by myself.
I attended Fashion’s Night Out and saw Michael Kors, Kate Hudson, Anna Wintour, Diane Von Furstenberg, and Mayor Bloomberg. You know how I love celebrity life.
It’ll be my birthday 9/19, and I accomplished moving out by 24. Go me.
...
I wish I had a backyard so I could drink margaritas while sitting/tanning in a kiddie pool.
Pubes
I am so angry and irritated. All because of pubes. What the fuck people, shave that shit off and everyone’s problems go away! Jeez. This makes no sense unless you’re Elise and have been talking to me for the past hour.
For the first time in a long time, I’m actually missing college. I miss College Avenue. I miss the bus to Busch campus. I miss George Street. I wish I left my apartment more during the last 2 years. I would’ve done so much shit differently knowing the shit I know now. Damn.
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - Me & Mia
Megan Mullally Joins Party Down →
Party Down is pretty damn good. I’m actually pissed that Megan Mullally is joining the cast. Damn you Perez.
The reason some girls stay single. →
audreyhepburncomplex:
kingorlowest:
(via ideasareawesome)
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
OMG PRICELESS
WHY WOULDN’T SHE CALL HIM BACK!?
Oh My God.
Wow, what if this was your soul mate? Hahaha.
Look at me and the glasses I bought at Afaze
I cannot stand when people wear glasses that they CLEARLY DO NOT NEED. These people never had to wear the rainbow colored ovals I wore as a kid. Or get yelled at for asking to sit closer to the blackboard because they could hardly see. Or be called Four Eyes. Or suffer from the Eyeglass Tan. Or have their eyeglasses fog up when they walk into a severely different temperature than the previous...
August 2009
47 posts
How do i give it to her standing up?
“me and my fiancee are going to have sex at my niece’s dance but my fiancee is a little heavier than i am and i dont want to break my arm or pull a janet jackson on her so like can i should just pleasure her underneath her dress?i mean how should we do this?”
—Yahoo Answers, under the “Etiquette” category
Love it.
“Slippery dick, it’s just a fish from the Atlantic.”
– From Peaches’ “Slippery Dick.” Surprisingly, slippery dick really is a fish from the Atlantic. Who knew!
Ohh, wham bam thank you ma’am!
“Really, really obscene hip-hop. I love it so much. It makes me laugh and then it...”
– Yo man, Natalie Portman totally effing gets me. She and I could totally get down to Notorious BIG’s “Juicy.” Fo’ real.
GOD EXISTS AND THIS IS WHY →
(via artisstupid)
THANK YOU JESUS.
Apparently I'm not the only one 'round here...
Aubrey O’Day actually wants the real Samantha and thinks she could be the biggest romance of Samantha’s life. Truth: Samantha seems to really be into orange, so perhaps this will work out.
